From the loving example of one family a whole state becomes loving, and from its courtesies the whole state becomes courteous while, from the ambition and perverseness of the One man, the whole state may be led to rebellious disorder.
In combat, one should be rough and reckless. Not so in everyday affairs.
According to samurai beliefs, the characteristics of men and women were antithetical: feminine ‘housewives’ versus macho men. Males must hunt for adventure, engage in battles, and strive to win. Should a warrior choose to play the role of diligent husband and father, he will be bogged down with chores and lose the respect of his wife and children.
Not for a moment must a genuine samurai part with his sword, not even when he is with his beloved woman.
Love a woman but do not surrender your soul to her. A thoughtless man lives as others tell him.
A fool lives by woman’s wits.
If a samurai is not satisfied with something in the relationship with his wife, he admonishes her with reasonable arguments, but in trifles he should be calm and give in to her.
If a samurai decides to part with somebody, he must do it tactfully. It is crucial to save face. Even a servant who has made a mistake should be discharged a year later and without explanation. Once upon a time, a samurai gave an expensive gift to a girl and everyone thought they would marry. But that same day he left forever.
Humiliating those who are weaker than you is unworthy conduct for a brave samurai. Those who like doing what a courageous person abhors and avoids are justly called cowards.
Every age has duties that must be remembered by the youth. To comprehend the Way of Valor, tell your children about the feats of great warriors. The most important thing is building a strong character, making them fearless. Sons should be raised by their fathers and follow in their footsteps. Fathers and sons should share a vibrant spiritual connection...
Read further in Samurai: Spirit of the Warrior
This an abstract from the chapter "Family" from Spirit of the Warrior by A. R. Berg